


One Mask at a Time

by zaan



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Utterly Ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2019-11-28 01:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18201503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaan/pseuds/zaan
Summary: Julian and the rest of the DS9 crew learn something new and shocking about Garak that upends everything they thought he knew about the man





	1. Crash Landing

**Author's Note:**

> Just a mad little idea I wrote up on tumblr awhile ago but which amuses me. I hope it amuses you too.

The shuttle crashed. Shuttles always crashed. It’s not that they couldn’t make good shuttles in the twenty-fourth century, just that Starfleet had a horrible bidding process that heavily favoured the cheapest bids, so they mostly got stuck with Made In Fereginar models. This not only explained the frequent crashes, but also why panels seemed as if they were designed to explode at the slightest hit.

Anyway, the shuttle crashed.

Dr. Bashir, groaning, picked himself off the side of the shuttle (now the floor) and surveyed the wreckage before him. Starting with the Captain, he checked over each of the crew.

They were once again miraculously lucky.

Mostly there were bruises, a few fractures, but nothing serious. Finally, Julian made his way to Garak.

“Garak?” he asked. Garak seemed to be okay - he was standing up - but he was, oddly, facing the back wall of the shuttle.

“I’m fine, doctor.” said Garak.

“Are you sure?” said Julian, thinking head trauma? “Because it’s a little odd to be staring at the wall, don’t you think?”

“I’m just assessing our situation. It’s less distracting than looking at all this mess.”

“Right. And not that you’re trying to hide anything from me.” said Julian, peering around to sneak a better look.

“Of course not, doctor! I’m offended! I’d never -”

“Garak.” said Julian slowly. “What’s wrong with your face?”

“Nothing, doctor. Now, if you’d -”

But Julian, as was his wont, hung on like a dog to a bone.

“It’s not nothing. Did you cut your face? But there’s no blood.” Julian reached out to touch (with a doctor’s ability to ignore the gross) a large flap of skin hanging grotesquely from Garak’s eye ridge.

To his surprise, it felt strangely rubbery.  Very rubbery. In fact, not like skin at all.  “Oh, my god - you’re wearing a mask?” He tugged at the offending skin and stripped it off Garak’s face. He turned Garak around and dragged him into the light, staring in absolute horror.

“It’s not exactly a mask. I mean, it doesn’t cover my whole face. It’s just I thought my cheekbones needed a little more emphasis.”

“Cheekbones? Don’t give me cheekbones you lying lizard. You weren’t enhancing your cheekbones, you were making yourself look older.”

“What? Why, that may have been an unintended side effect, my dear young doctor, but -” He yelped as Julian ripped off the rest of the rubber.

“Oh my god. How young are you? Are you younger than me? You are, aren’t you! And here you’ve been playing the wise older mentor and I’ve just been eating it up. Stop grinning. I’m so not talking to you.”

Julian stormed off (or stumbled off - the shuttle was pretty messy, so it was a little less dramatic). Garak sighed. Well, that game was over.

What game should he play next, he wondered?


	2. Can I have a drink now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shout out to the-last-dillards who proposed the idea of a Dukat-Garak showdown!

Sisko wanted nothing more than to ignore the fact that he now had a Cardassian teenager running around his station.  Acknowledging it meant he had to do something about it.  He didn't want to do anything about it.  It was late and he was still working.  He had a mountain of work on his desk, and another pile of work on his bed, and hundreds of unread and unanswered emails, and an irate Gul Dukat coming in 10 minutes to whine and moan about the "unfair" new regulations applying to Cardassian transports docking at DS9.  

What he really wanted was to be left alone.

With a drink.  A good, stiff, nasty, knock-your-brain around drink.

Unfortunately, as Captain, he never got what he wanted. 

"Captain," Odo said over the intercom, his gravelly voice sliding into a grating whine. "I really must insist you could come down to Quark's and settle this once and for all."

"Fine." SIsko grumbled.  I'll be there in a minute."

This was the third time Odo had attempted to arrest Quark for selling liquor to minors – a.k.a. Garak.  Garak insisted he wasn't a minor, but he had no legal proof to back up his claim (or, as Odo suspected, he hadn't had time to forge anything yet that would pass the high level of scrutiny Odo was sure to subject it to).

Garak spied Sisko as he walked into the bar and advanced on him.

"Ah, Captain," said Garak.  "I'm glad you're here.  I have to say I'm tired of this ... harassment from the good Constable."  His speech was accompanied by outstretched hands and innocent eyes.

Sisko almost couldn't stop himself from smiling – without his mask, Garak was not only looked young but positively cherubic, which made his glib posturing seem – well, there was no other word for it than adorable.

"Mr. Garak.  This can't go on.  You've claimed you have proof of your age but we haven't seen any.  Do I need to order Doctor Bashir to run tests to determine your age?"

"I protest, Captain . I'm a civilian –"

"Who's how old?" Sisko said wearily.

"Captain, may I respectfully point out that I have been looking after myself for quite some time now?  And helping you out as well?"

"Be that as it may, the Federation has rules, Mr. Garak. If you are a minor –"

"Really, captain, I'm clearly not a child." Garak pouted adorably.

"No, but the Federation does not grant full rights to anyone under the age of 22."

"22?" said Garak incredulously . "That's ridiculous."

"Nevertheless, it's the law . How old are you? 16 ? 18?"  Sisko couldn't even begin to guess.

"22."

"How convenient.  But also unbelievable."

"I look young for my age."

Before Sisko could reply he saw Dukat striding through the crowd, eyes locked on him, not even noticing the people he pushed aside.  He strode up with his usual arrogance, not even looking at Garak. "Captain Sisko!" he bellowed, "I have been waiting in your office for over 10 minutes!"

"I'm sorry, Gul Dukat."  Sisko said as politely as he could manage - which was to say not at all. "Something came up."

"What could possibly be more important than – " He stopped suddenly as he caught sight of Garak.  His face fell. He pointed a shaky finger.  "What," he said, "Happened to Garak?"

"Nothing happened to him, exactly.   We just found out that he's, well, a bit younger than we were all led to believe."

"A bit?  A bit?  Exactly how much is a bit younger?" Dukat snapped, talking to Sisko but glaring at Garak.

Sisko sighed.  "I don't know. Surprisingly, he hasn't been entirely forthcoming."

Dukat studied Garak with a harsh eye.  Garak grinned back happily.  "You can't be more than 18," he said finally.  He laughed snidely. "I always knew the Order was pathetic, but really, recruiting children? "

"Oh, they start us out on the easy cases.  Take your father, for instance," Garak said merrily.

Dukat froze.  His face flushed.  Garak continued on as if he hadn't noticed.

"Uncovering the evidence of your father's treason was my first assignment, actually.  NOT the hardest task I've ever set myself.   I mean, most of the military families are full of imbeciles, but you Dukats are in a class by yourselves."  He finished with a smirk.  "To put it in words you'll understand, you're stupid, and your father was stupid too."

Dukat was nearly apoplectic at the thought that his father's death, the near ruination and downfall of the glorious house of Dukat, had been caused not only by the hated Elim Garak, but a snotty bratty mouthy teenaged Elim Garak?  It was insupportable. 

He launched himself at Garak without a word, overturning tables and glasses and dabo girls as he  swung at him.  Garak nimbly danced out of the way.

"You little bastard. You won't get away from me."  Dukat panted.

"I'm not the one who's out of breath."

Dukat gulped air and prepared to lunge again. 

Sisko thought it fortunate for Dukat's dignity that just then Odo arrested him for disturbing the peace and dragged the growling out-of-breath Gul away to a cell to cool off.

Garak, untouched and unperturbed, brushed a little lint off his jacket.  "Well!" he said.  "Wasn't that exhilarating?  The Dukats never did have class, but they're always good for a bit of amusement.  I don't know about you, Captain, but I could certainly use a good stiff drink."

Sisko shut his eyes and silently agreed.  It was going to be a long week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, kudoing and commenting!
> 
> First, if you don't already know about it, get ready for Aurora-Nova's Deadly Sins challenge starting June 1 - works of any kind or length around G/B or G&B and the theme of deadly sins. If you have questions or want to participate but need a beta, you can reply here or pm me on tumblr @zaanzaan
> 
> Second, for those of you following my larger work If I Could Tell You - I have no chapter this week so am posting this instead, but look for something next week. And if you haven't read it yet, now is the perfect time to catch up as Phase 1 of the plot is done so it's almost a standalone and, as ConceptaDecency kindly said, "The last chapter's a corker".

**Author's Note:**

> @zaanzaan on tumblr


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